Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Breaskup Test: 5 Questions to Ask Before Giving "Em the Boot

While signing in to my Yahoo! mail just now, this topic appears at today's featured and caught my attention. Clicked on the link and started reading the article. I found it quite true and would like to share with you guys here. I'll just copy the whole article here just in case those visiting my blog not able to read it after today. It helps to analyze your relationship and you should ask yourself that 5 questions before asking for a break up.

Is it better to be the breaker-upper or the dumpee?
With so much attention being paid to those poor people dumped every year, no one ever takes time to think about what it's like to be the dumper. Hardly an enviable position, the decision to break up with someone can breed feelings of guilt, paralysis and depression.To alleviate some of this anxiety, here's a list of 5 questions to ask yourself before you give someone the boot.

Question 1: Has There Been a Major Change in My Life?
Relocation, career change, an illness -- any of these factors can trigger problems in a relationship. If you're stressed out about something, be it a job or family problem, it's all too tempting to generalize these feelings to include your partner. It's very easy to think that if you got out of this relationship you would feel better. In reality, you need to deal with the problem rather than blame it on your partner.

Question 2: What's My Happiness Ratio?
Being blissfully in love with your partner 24/7 is a wonderful concept in theory, but as we all know, real-world relationships rarely live up to these expectations. Many people assume that they have to be 100 percent satisfied with their partners in order to stick with them, but good luck ever finding this perfect scenario! A better strategy would be to adopt the 80 percent rule. Ask yourself: Am I satisfied with my partner 80 percent of the time or more? If the answer is yes, then you're working with pretty good odds. If the answer is no, you may want to consider moving on.

Question 3: Is He/She Abusive?
Abusive behavior comes in many forms. There's physical abuse where someone hits, slaps or shoves you. A verbally abusive partner degrades you with harsh words and insults. And the most difficult to identify and pinpoint: psychological abuse. This form of abuse can involve overly controlling behavior, emotional blackmail, and episodes of extreme jealousy.

Question 4: Have I Expressed My Frustration?
Many of us think that if our partner was right for us, he/she would be able to understand our needs intuitively without us ever having to communicate. While it would be great if our partners could just read our minds, the truth is that few of us are telepathic. Good communication is required in every relationship. So before you give your partner their walking papers, make sure to discuss your doubts and concerns so they have a chance to make it up to you.

Question 5: Am I Willing to Work at It?
Whatever your gripes or complaints, there's one factor that can make or break your union: your mutual desire to work on the relationship. If you're not both committed to improving your quality of life together, there's very little hope for the future. And remember, actions speak louder than words. If both of you make a concerted effort to work on the relationship and make the necessary changes that are required, there's really no reason to call it quits.

So that's the whole article. Just a lil checklist for those in a relationship, remember don't call it off so easily. It takes time and faith to be what you both are today. So much love and care have been contributed to nurture the flower of love. Let's see it blossom~! Cheers~

Wishing you all Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year~

Gaming Theory vs Relationship

UNO Stacko is one of the many variations of the card game UNO. This game is a blcck-stacking tower game which combines the gameplay of Uno and Jenga. I guess everyone should be familiar with this game without anymore further description.

Why would i compare this game with relationship? Me myself couldn't explain why. This idea just pop out out of nowhere when i was in dilemma.

Relationship, not only friendship, family as well as love pertaining the criteria of give and take. On the other hand, in playing this block-stacking game, players' move are determined by rolling the die, what you could do is just to have a better luck.

Yet in relationship, we couldn't depend it solely on luck but to compromise between friends, family and your partner and yourself. In which case when it comes to an argument or dead-end, each of you have to compromise and sacrifice if needed to bond the relationship. If you still care to bond it with just a lil more faith, trust and loyalty. Everyone should be able to deal with those tough and complicated situation, a challenge to be worked out together.

Ones should not just taking from each relationship but also need to give in. If everyone just keep taking each other's for granted, the framework of the tower which you've built together will not balance anymore and finally collapse. In playing the Uno stacko, every player just need to roll and die and pull the blocks which shown on the die. Not much of giving-in in this particular game because everyone is trying to win over competitors by pulling the piece of block which will not harm the framework and yet leaving others to deal with the problem. That's the objective of the game.

What's your opinion after reading this? I know i might be a little messy in arranging this entry. Not really in a clear mind though. Give me some feedback and your opinion.